Okay, let me back up. Yes, I’m the rags to riches poster child, Cinderella. Yes, I married Prince Charming-ish. And no, I’m not rolling in it – unless you mean dust mites. Did I mention that Castles are dust incubators? No really. Dust is magically born here. And you can’t even swing a sword in this place without hitting a cobweb! Now, just when I thought I’d gotten away from constant cleaning I find that King Daddy’s put Chauncy Charming on an allowance – which means I don’t get parlor maids, housemaids or even milk maids. Yep, Cindy’s back to being her own cleaning crew, she’s just decked out in designer princess togs while she does it.
Only one thing could make all this even more irritating – the one from whose loins I am sprung, Mother Hubbard.
Okay, that was unfortunate. I promise to never put sprung loins and my mother in the same sentence again – EVER.
Anyway, Mommy dearest gave out my private number to GRIMM BROS ENTERTAINMENT. At first I thought, cool! I mean, they’re the ones that took Fairytale Land out of the dustbin and put us on the map. Then I found out what they wanted. They wanted the rights to my life for a movie. Again, I thought cool – until I read the screenplay: Cinderella, The Dark Princess. They were making me into villain! Not even a smart villain! In fact, a has-been getting back at the world kind of villain. Talk about cliché! And they were going to pay me one little bag of pixie dust for it. You can’t even buy a house elf for that! I told them if they even breathed another fairytale about me, Pretty Pretty Princess would turn into the Grimm Reaper. Lawyers can do magic.
Keep an eye on GRIMM for me, okay? Let me know what they’re up to!